I’m a New Yorker, I love being able to say that! I was born at Flushing Hospital, a healthy little bundle of joy and rolls at 2 am. I have happy little memories of New York, building snowmen in front of our house in queens, playing with my favorite toys in the basement, causing havock around the house… good times. Honestly, I have very few memories of New York, I moved away when I was 4 years old and when you’re a kid, your happy memories may not be so happy in reality. Therefore it was time for us to start a new life in a new place, leaving my family, the house, and my snowmen behind me.
My family moved to Miami Florida for 7 years, then Georgia, and now I live in Southern California. As an adult, I now realize why my family originally moved away from New York. I now see that my New York memories were a bit more painful than a four year old would remember. My connection to New York can be sumbed up with these numbers; 14, 10, 16, 7. 14, the age I was when I wen’t back to New York 10 years after moving. I got to reconnect to family I hadn’t seen in years, learn about my home, and spend time with my brother before he passed away when I was 16. I came back two years later for his funeral. New York wasn’t the same magical place I once remembered it to be, and so I ran from it, for 7 years.
It’s been 7 years since my oldest brother passed away, and the day before my flight back home, I cried my eyes out. I was shaking as I packed my suitcase. Why was the thought of home, making me feel so afraid? Sometimes you have to go home to realize who you truly are and where you’re going.
“It’s a funny thing coming home. Nothing changes. Everything looks the same, feels the same, even smells the same. You realized what’s changed is you.”
F. Scott Fitzgerald
And so… the day had come. I grabbed my suitcase, got into my uber, made my wat to the airport, boarded the plane and I was on my way home. I can’t begin to describe how freeing it was to go home again, see my family after so many years, even visit my childhood home. What was once a triggering fear became a healing experience I’ll never forget.
This task was featured in My Discovery List. A discovery list is filled with tasks you want to achieve in your life to grow, experience, and go on a path of self discovery. Check out the full list HERE.